I told myself at the beginning of this year I was not going to try anymore with reaching out to people. I am going to be 30 years old in June and I am so very blessed with all the people in my life. I am not saying that I wish I could see people more or spend more time with so and so but I am just tired of trying.
But there is this one friend…. I just can’t seem to let go. It makes be bat shit crazy because I can not for the life of me read her. She is one of those friends that I can not see for 2 years and then we can spend countless hours together like there had been no pass in time at all. They almost always invite me to things and most of the time I go. But when I invite them to things because I want to share my life and my kids with them I get nothing. No phone call no anything. I have made the decision to stop inviting it is pointless.
But there is still part of me that wants to reach out. So on a whim Friday night when I was crazy mad putting all the finishing touches on my daughter’s party details I sent a text. It went something like this
“Hey I just wanted to say I have been thinking about you and miss you” I hope all is well maybe we can get together soon.
Nothing no responses no nothing… at first I kept telling myself have a good weekend enjoy your friends and don’t think about it. But for days now it has been on my mind. That she said nothing… I just so badly don’t want to let go but where do I go from here.
I keep making excuses like maybe she changed her number or maybe she is busy and couldn’t respond. But deep down I know it was the complete act of getting ignored.
“May we be strengthened with the understanding that being blessed does not mean that we shall always be spared all the disappointments and difficulties of life.” Herber Grant