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Thursday, February 9, 2012

It bothers me damnit...

So my mom had 5 sisters one passed away in her 30's after battling cancer for over 10 years she had 4 children. She had them very young and they were are a little older than me. I always liked when they would come for holidays (that's when they only came out here) they lived in a small town a state over which was about a 2 hour drive.

We would go and visit them about once year they followed their religious beliefs very close and they did not have a TV of any kid of electronics at their home. I give her so much credit she raised 4 children one of which was very handicapped and need 24/7 care and required everything to be done for him.

She took care of him even when she could barely care for herself. Okay I will write another post on valentines day about how awesome she was.

Anyways after she passed away her kids were distant I was young and didn't understand too much of the hurt feelings my family had in regards to them. I assume when her eldest son showed up late to his own mothers funeral that did not hem well with the aunties.

I remember my grandparents being in a fog so I think they didn't realize much of what was happening for years I begged my family to forgive them and open their arms to them and let them come around again. My aunts daughter had a baby when I was a senior in high school and ended up moving close to me. I spent a lot of time hanging out with her and babysitting. I had my own daughter a few years later and our relationship continued to grow

Meanwhile I was hanging out with her sister in law and her brother my other 2 cousins. Then all of a sudden things got weird my cousin got married and no one was invited to the wedding, then he had a baby around the time when I had my middle son and I to this day have not met her she will be 3 in March the worst part is neither have my grandparents.

Just recently my cousin had a birthday party for her 2 youngest kids. I had no idea about the party and I have been trying to contact her for months. I had a baby 6 months ago and got nothing not even a congrats on FB. What hurt the most is when she blasted photos of the kids birthday bash on Facebook with at least 60 people and nothing. I got bold and sent her an email telling her that I was hurt my kids and I were not invited. She said she forgot to invite me. FORGOT HER FAMILY she said she has been working 40 hours a week and has 3 kids.

OKAY same exact thing I have going on I work 40 plus hours a week and have 3 children of my own one being a infant. I want to let it go. I want to cut ties but I just can't because I have no closure and I don't understand why? What did We do to them? I think they owe us an explanation I texted her the other day for her birthday and she didn't even say thank you.

I need to know how to move on how to not care? I think about it and it makes me so very mad because I just don't get why?

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